She is not the evil one and neither is she accursed…..I am. She was the kindest person I ever knew. She had a divine prescence….she was tranquility. Her gentle smile lit up the room and she wore the fragrance of a thousand spring flowers. Her crime was to share my passion and to have faith in my cause- to love, trust and believe in me. She saw my vision and dared to delight in my dreams and aspirations. Yet I failed her and repaid her good with evil. I failed her and scarred her life forever.
O how cruel is this strange and merciless man that I have become. I can be so ruthless, unfeeling and cold to those that I love. I am not deserving of life and I am even less deserving of any form of joy. Yet each tear that she sheds in the secrecy of her bedroom wounds my soul and tears apart my crumbling heart. I join her in grief.
She does not see me yet her angel does. I weep and yearn for her every night and my spirit writhes and burns with pain. Behind that mask of a smile lies the deepest sorrow. I am a man that has been broken and scarred by the curse of love, ill- fortune and the vagaries of time. She has broken my heart, sifted my soul and crushed my spirit. I am slowly dying.
May the Balm of Gilead heal my wounds and may God’s love and mercy restore my strength. Most important of all may she find joy, peace, long-life and love everlasting. She was the kindest person I ever knew. She had a divine prescence…..she was tranquilty.